After Atonement
by Feilyn
Summary: It's been a year since Tohru fell off the cliff, triggering my need to earn redemption. I'm happy now, with a man I probably don't deserve but still I dream awful dreams of the sins of my past. What do you do after atonement? I'd like to find out. AkiGure


_Dedicated to my amazing friend Anje. One of many works that will be sent her way in exchange for art. Sounds fair, no?_

_My first Furuba-fic. I'm going to attempt the Japanese suffixes, but I'm probably going to leave a few off in situations where I'm not sure of their use. And maybe use them in the wrong places. Names are in the Japanese style. Hope you enjoy!_

_.:After Atonement:._

_Hatori – blind…Yuki – locked up…Kisa – sent flying…Rin – fallingfallingfalling…Shigure_

_Gone._

_The world, shaking, crumbling to pieces. I'm all alone, all alone, alonealonealone—_

"-kito. Akito!"

"Shigure!" I gasped his name, jerking up and nearly hitting our heads together.

"Hey!" He laughed a little, but I could see the worry etched on his face. "Where's the fire?"

I stared at him uncomprehendingly, and to my horror felt hot tears pricking at my eyes. He wrapped me up in his strong arms and I pressed my face into his neck. "Don't leave me." I whispered. "Please don't leave me."

"Leave you?" I could almost feel his smile pressed against my hair. "After all the trouble I went through to get you? I don't think so." He pulled back and gently kissed my lips. "Now, should we go back to sleep?"

I glanced over at the bedside clock. "Shigure, it's nearly midday! How could you let me sleep in this late?"

"Well…" He grinned down at my near naked body. "I _did_ keep you up quite a while last night. I thought you could use some sleep."

I blushed, hit him on the shoulder and pulled up the sheet. I'd never been quite so modest with my previous lover, but possibly that was because I simply hadn't cared what Kureno thought about me. Truth be told, I hadn't cared what _anyone_ thought about me, so long as they understood their place. I was God and they…they were not.

He laughed again, pulling the sheet down and kissing the middle of my chest. "Don't do that. You're too beautiful to cover up."

I tensed at the word beautiful, and he knew it. My devious Shigure complimented something feminine about me at least twice everyday. I knew he was trying to get me used to thinking of myself as female after living twenty years as male (barring my encounters with Kureno, of course), but I wish he wouldn't. It made me…uncomfortable.

I covered my lapse with a scowl, shoving him off me. "Get up, Shigure. We're expecting guests today, and I'm hungry." The two didn't exactly relate to each other, but there were times when being head of the Sohma family had it perks – Shigure didn't question me.

On second thought, he probably didn't question me because he was Shigure and secretly laughing at me in his head. Damn him.

"I hate you," I announced, struggling off the bed and dragging the sheet with me. While it kept me covered in spite of Shigure's ridiculous compliment, it also left him bare to the world, ­something which any other normal human being would have been ashamed of. Shigure however, merely flashed me another grin, reclining on the bed with his arms behind his head.

"You're going to have to let the sheet drop sooner or later, love."

I turned slowly to face him and raised an eyebrow. Fine, if he wanted to play like that…Slowly, indolently, I let the sheet slip to my shoulders and watched him swallow. The sheet was made from one hundred percent silk – nothing but the best for a Sohma – and slid across my skin like a butterfly's whisper. I let it slip a little more, almost exposing my breasts as I walked back over to him. It pooled around my feet when I let go of it to cup his cheeks and lean down, breathing into his ear…

"Get out."

I pulled back to watch his reaction. It was slow in coming – his eyes were slightly glazed over and the words obviously took a few seconds to get through his lust-clouded brain. _Men!_

He blinked, once, and his eyes cleared. "What?"

"You heard me. Out."

"This is my room too!"

"So?"

He whined, as Shigure was want to do, but nonetheless complied. I tilted my head sideways to enjoy the view as he grumbled his way towards the door. It occurred to me suddenly that Ren was still drifting around the house somewhere, and a hot surge of jealousy surged in my veins. I picked the sheet up from the ground and threw it at him.

"Take this with you," I clipped out.

He plucked it off his head and held it between finger and thumb like it was some old rag, lips curved upwards. "You don't like what you see? I had the impression you rather enjoyed it last night—"

He skipped out of the room, still naked as the day he was born as I picked up a pillow and hurled it at him. He shut the fusuma just in time, but the pillow tore through the paper anyway. His bark of laughter echoed down the hallway as I stuck my head through the hole.

"Try not to destroy the _whole_ house, Akito-sama," he mocked, saluting me as he finished fixing the sheet into something that vaguely resembled a toga. In response I leaned over and picked the pillow up again. He wasn't expecting it and as a result the pillow hit him square in the face.

"You are the single most infuriating man in the entire world." I told him.

He shrugged. "Yes, but you love me anyway, right?"

"I must be mad," I retorted, but I didn't dispute his words. Why would I, when he was entirely correct?

_.:After Atonement:._

I paced back and forwards in front of the cherry tree, fingers twisting around each other. It was a nervous habit I'd picked up after Tohru had fallen off the cliff – I'd never been anxious before then. Irritated sometimes, frustrated on the odd occasion and insanely angry most of the time, but never anxious.

"What if she doesn't come, Shigure? What then?"

"Then we call her up and ask her why she couldn't make it. Except that we're not going to have to do that, because Tohru would rather die than be rude to someone."

I stopped pacing, opening my mouth to tell him about the time she shoved me, then closed it. In all honesty I'd probably deserved it, and she'd blushed and stuttered so nervously afterwards that it was obvious no rudeness was intended.

"Sohma-san, Honda-san has arrived." A hesitant maid's voice floated through the air. "Should I bring her here?"

Yamashita Chiaki. I'd been trying for the last few months to get her to stop being so intimidated, but had had no luck. I suspected that Shigure had something to do with that – most of the maids had grown used to his teasing, but Yamashita was relatively new and my devious Shigure's jokes had a tendency towards the perverted.

"Yes, Yamashita," I replied politely. I waited until she disappeared before turning to Shigure and wrinkling my nose. "I swear, that girl makes me feel like an old witch."

Shirgure shrugged from his position under the cherry tree. "She's scared of you."

I gritted my teeth.

Shigure reached up to tug on a branch and grinned as a rain of pink blossoms cascaded down upon me. "I can't imagine why."

I kept my glare trained on him, reaching down to scoop up a handful of dirty cherry blossoms from the ground. "Do you have any idea how long it took me to do my hair like this, Sohma Shigure? And now there are cherry blossoms all through it and I can't get them _out_ unless I undo it all!" I had no idea if this was true or not, but Shigure had that _look_ on his face that made me want to strangle him. I'd moved past the 'inflicting-deathly-wounds-on-people-who-annoy-me' stage, so I had to satisfy myself with yelling at him.

The grin widened. "So?"

And maybe by throwing a clump of filthy cherry blossoms at him. He laughed, dodging the missile and leaping to his feet on top of the bench, grabbing a hold of two large branches and shaking as hard as he could. I could barely see through the resulting shower of pink, so it came as a complete surprise to me when a pair of strong arms caught me around the waist from behind and swung me around. I laughed as the world spun dizzily through the cherry blossoms.

"Shigure!"

"Oh! I'm so sorry, am I interrupting?"

I stiffened in Shigure's arms immediately. Thankfully he got the message and set me down before turning to Tohru and greeting her with the full Shigure charm.

"Tooooooooohru-kun!" he exclaimed happily, bounding over to her like an eager puppy. "Where's Kyo-kun? Did he come with you or did he leave a poor, defenceless girl to fend for herself on the trip between cities, hmm? It's alright, Tohru-kun, Shigure will protect you!"

I shook my head at his antics, moving over to the bench and sitting on his vacated seat.

"Eh? Oh no, no! Kyo did come with me, but he's meeting with Shishou." She laughed, a little ruefully. "Kyo wanted to follow me here, but Shishou convinced him to let me wander by myself. I think it's good for Kyo to be alone with his father – they don't get to see each other as often as they'd hoped. We're going out to dinner later, Kyo, Shishou, Hana-chan and me. Oh dear, am I babbling? I hope I'm not boring you!"

"Not at all, not at all!" Shigure gushed, placing a hand on Tohru's back and guiding her towards another bench, this one next to the carp pond. "Here, take a seat."

She was in the middle of complying when she caught sight of me. Her eyes widened almost comically and she gasped. "Akito-san! You look so beautiful!" I blushed. "I've been away for such a while; I haven't even seen you with your long hair! You don't mind if I take a picture do you, to show Kyo?" She rummaged around in the small blue bag she carried over her shoulder, all thoughts of sitting down fled from her mind.

I patted my hair self consciously, ignoring Shigure's wink. "You really think it looks nice?"

"You look beautiful!" she repeated, coming up victorious with the camera in hand. "Can I—?"

"Of course you can!" Shigure boomed before I could reply as he sat down next to me. "Anything for Tohru-kun."

I shot him a look that promised trouble later and then turned to smile self-consciously at the camera. I hate having my photo taken, but it was extremely difficult to refuse Tohru anything. She begged for another and I agreed, smiling a little wider for her. One couldn't hep but be happy when Tohru was around – she was infectious. Shigure looped his arm around me close and a third picture was taken.

"That's wonderful, I'm sure Kyo will love it, Akito-san!"

I frowned. "Please, just call me Akito."

She gaped. "Eh? Oh no! No, I couldn't!"

"Please. It would make me feel more comfortable if you did. I…" I blushed, ducking my head. "I would like to be your friend, Tohru."

She blinked at me. "But…but Akito-sa – Akito _is_ Tohru-kun's friend."

Shigure saved me from a potentially awkward moment, albeit not in the most subtle way. "Tohru-kun, is Kyo-kun not coming here to the main house?"

Then again, Tohru was easily distracted.

She sighed. "There's not really enough time. He promised Shishou he'd help out at the dojo before dinner and it will probably be very late before we get back…and then we'll barely have time for breakfast before the train leaves. I told him I'd say hello to everyone for him though!" she added brightly.

A likelier story was that Kyo still hated being at the main Sohma house – and to be honest, I couldn't blame him. Although he was no longer 'The Cat', it was sickening to see the way people pretended he never had been, as if all their harsh words and cruel actions had never occurred. I, at least, was trying to make amends and my debt was larger then theirs could ever be.

"Akito-san – argh! I'm sorry, Akito." Tohru blushed. "Would you mind terribly much if I took some photos of your garden? It really is very beautiful."

"Of course," I smiled. "You like photography?"

"Very much. I like to think of it as making memories. I tend to forget things," she laughed, taking a picture of the pond. "And this way, when something is gone, it's not completely gone. I can keep a little bit of it forever. Oh dear, that sounds selfish, doesn't it?" She snapped another few pictures.

"Everyone's entitled to a bit of selfishness now and then," Shigure said loftily.

"And you more than most, no?" I teased. He crossed his eyes at me in return, making me laugh.

"Oh, no!" Tohru cried.

"What? What is it?" I asked, immediately concerned.

She dropped to her knees, patting at the blossom covered ground. She looked rather odd, half her hair falling out of one of her plaits. "I lost a hair tie. Oh, it must be around here somewhere…"

Shigure looked like he was struggling not to laugh. "Tohru-kun…there's no way you're going to find it. There's too many flowers around."

"And who's fault is that?" I asked him, dropping to my knees next to Tohru. "Here, I'll help you look."

"Eh? No, it's ok, you don't have to—"

I looked her in the eye. "I want to."

A wide smile crept across her lips. "Alright then."

We looked for about half an hour. I found a pair of chopsticks and a bracelet, but no hair tie. Tohru didn't find anything.

"Why don't you just pull it all back into one plait?" I asked, accepting Shigure's hand up. He hadn't helped us at all, the lazy bastard.

"I can't plait it from behind like that," she sighed. "Unless – Akito! Could you help me?"

Shigure let loose a bark of laughter, and I stifled the urge to give him a rude gesture. "Um…well, I would. But I don't actually know how to plait hair."

I watched her eyes widen for the second time that day. "You don't? Silly me, of course you don't. Come here, I can teach you!" She pulled the other hair tie out and shook out her hair. I wasn't the only person who'd been letting my hair grow – hers hit her at about mid back as opposed to at the shoulder blades like it had last time I'd seen her.

We sat there, the two of us, like little girls. Shigure left, but I barely noticed as Tohru chattered about how her mother had taught her to plait her hair and how she'd been absolutely hopeless at it at first, with fingers too chubby and hair to short to make a successful attempt.

"But it was a lot of fun," Tohru concluded. "There was a lot of laughter and in the end we had a hair tie flicking contest." She giggled. "Mum broke _another_ flowerpot, trying to get out of the way."

"Your mother sounds like a lovely person, Tohru," I said quietly. "I wish I'd had the opportunity to meet her."

"But you have!" Tohru exclaimed. "She's here with me all the time – haven't you seen her?"

I blinked, a little worried for the state of her mind. "Um…no. No I haven't."

She was rummaging through the bag again, and this time she came up with a small picture frame. Inside was a photo of a smiling woman vaguely resembling Tohru.

"Mother, this is Sohma Akito," Tohru said solemnly. "She's the head of the Sohma family, and one of my friends. I don't see her as often as I would like to, but I was thinking of inviting her to dinner with Kyo and the others tonight. What do you think?"

There was a twinkle in Tohru's eyes that made me re-evaluate everything I'd ever thought I'd known about the rather ditzy girl.

A wind swirled through the garden, stirring the blossoms on the ground and sending another shower of pink down upon the two of us.

Tohru giggled, tucking her mother's picture back in her bag. "Akito? Would you and Shigure like to come to dinner with us tonight?"

I looked down at my fingers, which were twisting themselves around each other again. "I'm not sure…if I would be welcome." I said softly.

"Of course you will be!" Tohru threw her arms around me in something resembling a bear hug. "Please?"

Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Shigure looking at us from his position against the door frame. His eyes were soft, and I fell in love with him all over again.

"Yes," I whispered. "I think I'd like that very much."

_.:After Atonement:._

_Phew. I enjoyed that, but do you have any idea how incredibly hard it is to write Tohru in-character? I'm not made for writing happy people, I don't think. I really wanted to get her right though, to show Akito the Tohru that all the other characters of Furuba have seen. I _think_ i succeeded, althought it took me forever. Please tell me what you think!_

_Thanks for reading!_


End file.
